HOW TO SUPPORT EXPONENTIAL GROWTH IN EARLY CHILDHOOD - PART THREE: Age 2
A PROGRESSIVE AGE SERIES WITH A SPRINKLE OF HARMONY MAGIC!
After our two recent posts examining the loves and challenges of 18-24-month olds and 12-18-month-olds, today we are focusing on the beautiful age of 2!
We’re happy to say, the famed Terrible Two moniker is more myth than reality. The truth is, outbursts of challenging behavior can arrive at any age. If—as parents, caregivers, or teachers—we prepare, self-educate, ensure we (and our kids!) regularly get plenty of rest, and root our days in predictable routine…those twos need not be terrible at all…
2-Year-Old LOVES
Rest & Routine. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again (and again and again)… Rest and routine are critical ingredients to a happy, healthy toddler. Though your 2-year-old may attempt to buck naps, stay strong with that familiar once-a-day nap routine, armed with the assurance that you know better! Two-year-olds notoriously, increasingly try to test limits (more about that below), and it’s our job to keep the walls standing firmly where we know they need to be.
Your child will continue to biologically need a daily nap until at least age 3—usually around midday, often +/- 2 hours—so even if he or she is challenging that plan, keep up your midday nap routine. Some days, there may be no actual sleep, and that’s fine. The simple ritual of quiet time in bed in a darkened room provides the reset that tiny motor needs to make it through a full day. If you stick with your nap routine, you’ll inevitably find your little one conked out midday, and your entire family will be so much better off for it. A rested toddler is a happy toddler, which equals happy parents and the happiest possible days. Trust the process (and be sure you’re getting adequate sleep to maximize your happiest/healthiest self too)! So, even when your 2-year-old doth protest naptime or bedtime, don’t buy it—we promise, they love their rest. They’re just not mature enough to realize it.
For ever-more incredible, physiology-based sleep tips and solutions for your littles, we highly recommend checking out the wonder-resource that is Baby Sleep Science. Not only do we concur with their assertion that kids need naptime up to age 3 or beyond, we have personally seen the benefit of continuing a midday quiet time even through the tween years (school-schedules-permitting)! It’s amazing how recharging a daily slice of alone time can be.
Think of naptime and night sleep as your day’s anchor points, and continue to layer the rest of your daily routine around them. Breakfast right after waking, lunch just before naptime, dinner just before nightly bath, wind-down time, bedtime rituals—and of course, woven throughout your day, our magic formula of independent play, connection, and confident leadership. Whether they can communicate it or not, children in this age group look forward to and thrive on the predictability of routine. With a healthy, established routine grounding your child’s days and nights, we can add in the variety and excitement adults often need: half-day excursions or even extended family trips. Revolving our days around those daily anchor points and maintaining our familiar routine while in new settings sets the whole family up for success.
Ever-More Moving! Two years into parenting, you likely feel like your child’s actual, physical shadow—just behind him on the stairs/jungle gym/steep slope/running along a rock path and ready to bodily catch a mis-stepping, tumbling toddler in a split second. Your little one’s gross motor needs won’t slow down at this stage. In fact, they’re just ramping up, and your instincts to offer frequent opportunities to flex those gross motor muscles are spot-on. Happily, by doing so, sometime this year you will notice a gradual, almost imperceptible, decrease in your need to be your child’s inches-away safety net. Remember our rule of thumb: children are generally safe when they can maneuver into and out of situations independently (so try not to hoist them onto locations they’re not ready for). When she wants to wobble across the low balance beam at the park for the 27th time as she holds your hand, let her. She’s learning every second, and one of these times, you’ll see that she can do it herself. You’ll know when you’re safe to step back and watch...and when to slowly increase that distance. Keep providing moments to practice a wide variety of gross motor skills you feel comfortable with—practice leads to mastery which eventually leads to you sitting on a park bench, sipping your coffee. #WhenToddlerGoalsAreParentGoals
Fine motor work. Having mastered many basic, foundational gross motor skills, 2-year-olds are ready and eager to hone fine motor skills involving coordination of the small muscles in their hands and fingers. Great activities for fine motor practice include: playdough with beads to push and pinch into it, drawing with chubby markers/crayons (try a large piece of cardboard outside!), collecting seashells/acorns/rocks in a basket, kneading bread dough, scooping and pouring water in a sensory bin…the options are virtually endless! Just keep an eye on your little one if he’s prone to putting small objects in his mouth. Some children display this tendency more than others, or take a little longer to outgrow it.
Independence. Toddlers adore accomplishing tasks on their own. Be patient as your child struggles toward mastery of the independence-building tasks we present, and aim to support your child through the smallest facilitating step. Observe your child, offering only the slightest aid as needed to complete the task successfully. Just one example: try presenting the opportunity to scoop goldfish from a bowl onto a napkin, but stay close behind, reaching around quietly to help guide only as needed. As your child gets more capable, reduce your help, but stay present and available.
Reading. Sometime between age 2 and 3, children awaken to the understanding that the spoken word tree, a picture of a tree, and the written letters in tree all mean the same thing—this is the foundation of literacy, and it’s why introducing reading to the youngest children is so important. You likely already read to your child at bedtime or naptime—keep it up, and consider adding other story times too. The more we expose our children to age-appropriate books and reading, the more deeply we root a lifelong love of reading, planting some of the earliest seeds for educational success.
Imagination. During this year of 2, you’ll notice your child begin to grasp the world of imaginative play. Maybe one morning you’ll find him toddling toward you with a plate of pretend “breakfast,” or closing his eyes, pretending to be asleep. You don’t need to lead or encourage this development—just play along when it presents itself, and consider introducing open-ended dress-up materials, fabrics, play food, a play kitchen, or other simple imagination-inspiring items to broaden your child’s world.
Friends. This age group is fully aware of peers and ready for deeper social experiences. When two children come together, you’ll likely observe parallel play—side-by-side, possibly with the same materials, but each child focused on her own world of play. It usually takes until closer to age 3 for collaborative, interdependent play to emerge—i.e., children talking to one another and working toward a shared goal. Social interactions are new and will take lots of practice. Stay nearby, remaining as nonintrusive as possible. If a conflict arises, sportscasting is a great move—simply say what you see: “John is playing with that ball right now.” It’s a simple tool that helps toddlers to slow down their impulses and process what is happening. For more detail on the concept of sportscasting, first brought to light by renowned infant and child specialist Magda Gerber, we encourage you to read this article by parenting expert, Janet Lansbury.
2- TO 2.5-YEAR-OLD CHALLENGES
Boundaries. This is where that Terrible Two nickname is earned. Because children naturally seek power starting around age 2, this phase brings many testing, challenging behaviors. “You may not” and “No thank you” are our favorite phrases modeling healthy, respectful boundaries, showing the clear, confident leadership children need to thrive—reinforcing that you are in charge. Always resist the urge to react loudly or dramatically or engage in a lengthy explanation—too much attention is sure to create a fun new pattern for your little one. Calm, predictable, and clear boundaries continue to create an important foundation for the months and years ahead—and will likely make your future life easier. For more on how to set boundaries for your defiant toddler, visit the Confident Leadership section of our last post.
Sharing. Though toddlers can’t yet grasp sharing, this is a great time to introduce taking turns. When children play for extended periods with simple materials, they lay groundwork for concentration and attention span. Therefore, if another child expresses interest in what your toddler is playing with, let your toddler fulfill his curiosity, and say, “You may have a turn when James is done.” Redirecting the other child toward another activity may be necessary to keep the peace, but the more you can preserve the focus and attention your toddler is cultivating, the more you are strengthening those “muscles” for future use.
On the flip side, if your 2-year-old is the one who wants to interrupt another child’s focused activity, by redirecting her to another activity and communicating that her turn will come when her friend is done, you are demonstrating and teaching the foundation of a skill that will develop further down the road—sharing.
And there you have it—an arsenal of valuable tools to help you coax your child’s year of 2 away from the terrible, and instead, toward the terrific!
We’d love to see any Harmony-inspired moments you capture along your child’s early years journey. Tag us (@HarmonyNLC) on Facebook and Instagram, and use the hashtags #HarmonyNaturalLearningCenter #TheHarmonyApproach #HarmonyNLC
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