Getting comfortable with the D-Word—discipline—may just lighten your entire family’s existence.
Research shows that there is a real lack of joy in parenting today….there's a direct correlation between lack of joy and lack of a sense of control.
In 2017, Chrissy was interviewed by Newburyport Macaroni Kid, discussing our Parents’ Retreats co-hosted by the Greater Newburyport Mothers & Families Club and sponsored by Newburyport Macaroni Kid…
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“It's happened to all of us. Despite giving your toddler plenty of warning about an impending departure, the child has a tantrum in front of everyone when it's time to leave. That's totally normal from a developmental standpoint, but you feel anxious and embarrassed. You bear the weight of your child’s misbehavior as a direct reflection on your inadequate parenting. We all feel this crazy unspoken pressure to have it all together - it’s no wonder we’re all feeling isolated and exhausted.”
- (Early Education Specialist Chrissy Rupp, Co-Owner of Harmony Natural Learning Center in Newbury)
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We caught up with Chrissy to find out more about the workshop and how it might help parents feel a little less judged and a little more joy in their day-to-day lives.
Newburyport Macaroni Kid: Based on your description of that mom, it sounds like you've been there, too.
Chrissy Rupp: Oh, absolutely. My own girls (ages 3 and 8) remind me daily that raising small human beings is no walk in the park - and I have a Master’s Degree in child development and parent education! In fact, I was absolutely steamrolled by my first child and our whole family suffered for it. It wasn’t until I finally got my head around the trickiest aspect of parenting—the dreaded "D-word"—that our family finally came back into a place of better balance.
MK: The "D-word"?
Chrissy: Discipline. Research shows that there is a real lack of joy in parenting today. What I've learned both from personal experience and professional observation is that there's a direct correlation between lack of joy and lack of a sense of control.
That mom with the non-compliant child doesn't want to make a scene. Setting a reasonable limit is absolutely going to lead to conflict. I speak from personal experience when I say that if she’s uncomfortable with that conflict, she’s going to hesitate. It's in that pause—"how am I going to handle this?"—that the child feels just a little more power then they should. ("Oh, I’ve got some control here.") That misplaced sense of power, repeated over and over again can grow into bigger problems with self-regulation.
MK: What are you hoping to accomplish with this workshop?
Chrissy: I am now certain that as we learn to be a confident leader for our child, we will begin to restore a natural order in our homes. This order leads to peace, and peace offers more room for the joy that we all desire. Effective discipline is so much less about what tactic you use and so much more about a healthy mindset. I hope this workshop will help parents begin to deconstruct some of the confusing and misguided aspects of our current parenting culture and begin to empower them in their role as a leader for their child.
In future workshops we’ll tackle the nuances of individual temperament and how the emergence of will requires us to shift our role are parents. We even have a great session in the works on how we can simply our schedules and our home environments to create a more natural and joyful family rhythm.
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Hosted by the Greater Newburyport Mothers & Families Club, Harmony’s free parenting workshops—aka Parents’ Retreats—are held several times throughout the year.